When I grow up, I want to be....

Quite often in my job do I refer to the DOT (not to be mistaken for the transportation department or your grade school cafeteria lunch lady) which stands for the Dictionary of Occupational Titles. Since the actual book is about 3 inches thick and I don't have that much time, I have 3 pages of quick reference with sedentary to heavy jobs that I use for vocational assessments. I also have my special page of carefully selected and completely valid, but random jobs in the national economy just for those misfit constituents that have annoyed me at some point during the disability adjudication process. Here's my top 10 list:

10) coin collector (medium exertion, requires minimal training)
9) religious ritual slaughterer (medium, skilled job)
8) hacker-brick & tile industry, not microsoft-(medium exertion, unskilled)
7) showgirl (light exertion, unskilled work) this one's a hit with those
status post hip replacement surgery!
6) squeak, rattle, and leak repairer (medium exertion, unskilled) how original
5) extra (light exertion, unskilled) Think Phoebe in the episode of
'Friends' when she needed money and she played the surgical nurse on DOOL!
4) meter reader (light exertion, sort of skilled) Beware of dog!
3) artists model (light, sort of skilled) A fabulous new career for the middle
aged! Or maybe just wanting to earn cash modeling in the buff!
2) shoe shiner (light exertion, unskilled) because these jobs are
readily available on any street corner and overhead is low.
1) psychic reader (sedentary, sort of skilled) apparently, it isn't just a gift
from the Heavens and anyone can do it.